Violence Against One’s Own Spirit 230
I begin this article by asking: have you ever violated your own spirit? I believe you have.
And what is this violence against one’s own spirit?
Well, we know that we cannot, and should not, do only what we want. Based on Freud’s concepts, if we were to do everything we desired, without any “filter,” it would mean that only the id was operating, without any kind of restraint, and that would certainly bring serious and grave consequences to ourselves and to many other people. Therefore, no, we cannot and should not do everything and only what we want.
On the other hand, there is the opposite extreme: when we do nothing that we want. This means we do only what others want us to do, inevitably causing frustration. And that is where the violence begins. Because by continuing in this way, we suffocate our desires, our perceptions, our opinions, until we reach the point of losing our essence, or at least feeling as though we have, since that essence becomes stifled and consequently forgotten somewhere, as if buried beneath many layers in our mind, as I mentioned in one of my previous articles, titled “Mental Archaeology for the Rescue of My True Essence.” For when that essence remains buried for too long, it becomes harder to bring it back, requiring an archaeological effort, metaphorically speaking.
Every time we fail to express our opinions or refrain from doing what we want, for example, to avoid contradicting someone else and causing them frustration, we violate our spirit. This happens when a person exerts some kind of control over us, for instance, someone who, instead of wanting to hear our opinions, wants only to hear their own echoed from our mouth. That is what nowadays is called a toxic person.
Over the course of a lifetime, by accumulating these feelings, we generate a very high price to pay, almost always beginning with mental health, which inevitably compromises physical health. Along with this comes the feeling that precious time, which will never return, has been wasted. Often it is possible to reverse the situation; however, scars will remain as records of that time, and unfortunately some losses may be irreversible, at least in this life.
My advice to young people is that they do everything possible not to commit such acts, for I believe that some of these marks may be carried into whatever lies beyond this time here, possibly returning with us in our new chances on this dense plane.
Believe me: most of the time we do not realize when we begin to erase ourselves for the sake of certain people in our relationships, whether professional, marital, parental, and so on. At a moment when we still do not truly see reality, it is very easy to give in, with the feeling that we are doing something to please the other person, which is natural and even noble, depending on the situation and the person. Some people do deserve such kindness, because they reciprocate in the same way, showing themselves to be good and worthy individuals.
But unfortunately, others do not. These, often driven by some psychological disorder, or simply by selfishness or extreme immaturity, seek to impose their will without any embarrassment, always ready to criticize any action of the other, many of which are normal and intended to please. And we, by suppressing our responses, continue violating our spirit, which becomes a little more ill each time.
I imagine the spirit feeling pain, which reflects in us as sensations of discomfort in breathing, tightness in the chest, along with sadness and disappointment.
Therefore, be strong and never allow anyone to control your life. Be the owner of yourself and of your desires, of course, always maintaining ethics and being just.